Twitter Garden

Busy day - on the go since 6: AM. Fighting a cold and exhausted so took a little nap at five PM. Had a great dream that all my Twitter followers came over to help me design my courtyard garden in the back yard.

Holy cow, what an insightful bunch! Just wondering if the guy with the dark hair, blue shirt, and shovel could DM me - loved your idea about the paving stones and statue! I would never have considered a statue in such a small space. Really like to discuss it further.

... gotta love Twitter. Even dream Twitter is great :o)

"Rachel Getting Married" - OUTSTANDING Movie!

I love movies. Aside from reading, it's my favorite pastime. Last night, too tired to do anything else, I picked up Rachel Getting Married.

Now this is not a movie that would normally catch my attention. I tend to like films that are a little different, a little off the beaten path, and this movie, with Anne Hathaway, did not appear to be anything that I would enjoy all that much. Having watched a few films featuring Hathaway in the past, I was pretty sure it would not be worth a watch - just not my cup of tea. But, being over tired, indecisive, and just wanting something to veg in front of, I grabbed it, expecting it to deliver some predictable, light fluff.

However, this film knocked my socks off! To say that the work was brilliant would simply not give this film the credit it deserves.

The story and plot are clear cut and simple. Nothing fancy going on here. No smoke and mirrors, no special effects, just a right solid drama that relies on the complexity of the family dynamic to drive it along.

Stylistically, the filming is simple and engaging, capturing a sense of reality that makes you feel like you are right there witnessing the drama unfold. It is intimate, slow moving, and utterly seductive. The smoking gun makes its appearance early and is weaved beautifully through the story line, its details revealed in a gut wrenching, heart numbing shock that bangs home the depth of emotional anguish gripping each family member. The simplicity of its unraveling - superb.

As this film trudges on through its dirty little secrets, the character development is solid and absolutely outstanding from all characters and points of view. Each actor effortlessly revealing a complex, believable character, and in my limited opinion of Hathaway, it's the first time that we are given the absolute privilege of seeing her true potential as an actor (a delicious point of departure I must say!). Though I am a fan of Kate Winslet, I must admit that it is a darned shame that it was Winslet and not Hathaway that snagged the Oscar for best actress in a leading roll this year...

This movie is powerful, simply outstanding, and outstandingly simple. At it's conclusion all you can think is: WOW - what a ride! Rachel Getting Married is not so much entertainment, as we might usually define it, as it is an experience, and though it's a rather unpleasant experience, it's none the less breathtaking. It's the kind of movie that rocks you to the core and that you just can't stop thinking about.

Rachel Getting Married: Worth a watch a dozen times. Simple. Brilliant. Superb.

Unique or..?

A few years ago my fella and I went our separate ways. And you know how you feel when a relationship ends - a little lost, a little insignificant, a little like you just don't fit, and that no one gets you... and in a moment of boredom I decided to check out an online dating site. It was a really big dating site and at the time boasted a membership of about 8 million and an extensive, super scientific matching service.

Eight million, I thought, wow - surely there will be a handful of potential partners for me there! Surely to goodness out of 8 million members there will be at least fifty that I would be a good match with. At least fifty - maybe even a hundred or two who would get me and understand the world as I do... Well, I thought, give it a go and see what happens.

So I filled out all the questionnaires (which took about three days!) completed my profile, uploaded my picture, then sat back and waited to meet my matches!

I was nervous. I was excited. It was kind of like going to your first dance at high school and waiting for a boy to ask you to dance. For about three days I waited not so patiently for the match results to show up in my inbox...

Finally, the awaited email arrived. There it was in my inbox just waiting for me to click it open.

I stared at it as a dozen thoughts swirled in my head... I'm finally going to meet someone who understands me... Finally, after all these years (yeah - I'm not 25 anymore...) I'm going to meet someone who is similar to me... I'm finally going to meet someone who will appreciate my uniqueness! OMG - it was all I could do to quell the herd of butterflies flapping away in my tummy...

I clicked open the email, clicked the link to my members' area, waited for the page to load (very slowly as my old pc couldn't handle the graphics)... closed my eyes, held my breath, opened one eye to take a peek... and presto, like cyber-magic, there was the list of possible matches for me!!

Yes - there it was!! All the years of wondering about my perfect match... what he would look like, if he would be witty and creative, if he loved chocolate and red wine as much as I do, did he have children also... where about to come to an end, I was about to be introduced to some of the 8 million members worldwide that I would likely click with. Yes-siree, there they were... all three of my matches...

Three...

All three conveniently located in one spot...

None had pictures, two lived in Europe, one lived in Eastern Canada.

With a slow, quiet sigh, the butterflies escaped.

Three. Out of 8 million. I mean even if you consider that half of those 8 million members were likely female and would have been disqualified on gender alone - that still leaves 4 million... Three out of 4 million - not especially good stats.

I closed my browser window. Closed my email. Shut down my computer.

I began to wondered if I was really that unique, or just utterly hopeless?

But I didn't want to get bogged down with that line of questioning in case I began to lean towards the hopeless vote, so I began to think of all the perks of the single life that I was embarking on: What movie to watch - My choice! What's for dinner - My choice! Hey - does this look good on me? - You Betcha Baby!! Hmmm, can we really afford this new car? - Absolutely darling - we could get two if we really wanted them! Wanna go for a drive to my mother's? - Absolutely! I just spent $1200 on four pairs of shoes - are we good with that? - Darling, we can do anything to keep our feet happy.

Shoes... mmmm. I began to feel much better!

April 7th, Victoria, BC - The Incredible Fraea

One afternoon last year as I was working away at my computer I heard some beautiful music lofting down the hall. I walked towards my daughter's room, and yes, that's where the music was coming from.

The song was gorgeous. The vocals, deep and soulful, were accompanied by a soft harmonious guitar.

I stood and listened for a few moments, then opened the door to ask my daughter what cd she was playing - and to my utter shock and amazement, I discovered that it was my daughter singing and playing guitar - not a cd...

To say that I was dumbfounded would be an immense understatement. I had no idea that she could sing (I am her mother - how could I not know this??!! hmmmm - I wonder what else she can do...).

My daughter's voice is sublime, and she's not bad on the guitar either. Her sound is unique, filled with soul, and buried deep within the melody she sings is the wisdom of someone three times her age with four life-times of experience.

Over the past year I have had the absolute pleasure and pride of hearing her sing frequently and a few months ago she participated in her first live show - a Tom Waits tribute at the Solstice Cafe. Her energy captured the room and held it tight, and she brought the house down with rolls of applause (seems I'm not the only one who thinks she has a pretty good voice - who'd believe me anyway... I am her mother after all ;o).

Fraea has been invited to perform as a guest in a local show here in Victoria next month. If you're in the area you can catch her performance, along with a few others, on April 7th at Camas Books, 2590 Quadra St., Victoria, BC. Door is at 6:30, tix by suggested donation of between $5 and $10.

Come on down - it promises to be yummy!

The Royal Flush

To flush or not to flush...

Years ago when living in a rural community I learned the art of flushing only when necessary. Yellow, no worries. More than yellow - flush. Saves water, better for your septic tank and field, so they tell me. And as I am a rather eco-friendly nut case, when I moved back to the city I considered whether I should continue in this manner.

The answer from the inner-me was a resounding YES!

So here I am back in the city with a new flushing agenda: A little yellow - let it sit. A lot yellow - flush. More than yellow - definitely flush. Company's coming - flush. The city folk are not yet on with this methodology and we certainly don't want to offend...

No, the city folk are not on with it - but they should be.

Flushing uses a lot of water, and we all know that clean water does not grow on trees. Imagine for a moment, if you will, just how much water would be saved if you only flushed every other time. Now imagine if all your neighbours did the same thing - how much water would be saved...

Imagine how much water would be saved if your entire community, city, or province employed the every second flush way of living. I don't need to tell you that that would be a lot of water saved (now don't ask me for figures and data - I'm just a concerned citizen, not a scientist... Just use your best judgment and common sense to get an idea of how much water would be conserved).

Now I am not suggesting that we do this in public restrooms - merely in the privacy of our own homes. And, yes, I can just hear some of you saying, Eeeewwwww - that's gross! Think of the germs... And to that I say - Hey, we're talking about a toilet. No one is going to be eating out of it (with the exception of your dog who might think it's a great water dish) or sticking their hands in it (I would hope!).

It's a toilet and there are going to be germs in it right after you clean it, as soon as someone goes pee.

It's just pee. I would bet there are more germs to be found in the fuzzy science projects that make their way to the very back of every North American fridge... and hey, that's where you keep your food... (eeewwwwww).

So how about it - ready to do a little good and conserve a lot of water? It's easy-peesie! If it's yellow - let it sit. More than yellow - flush :o)

Things I Can Now Do Which I Couldn't Do Last Year

Ok - I can eat toast for three meals a day. I can, if I decide to cook (which is extremely rare) eat my dinner right out of the pot that I cooked it in - save's on washing dishes (and water)!! (This is a very exciting development in my life and I have absolutely no idea why I didn't start doing this YEARS ago! (I mean can you imagine the ease of clean-up after family dinners!)).

I can also eat yogurt right out of the container. I live with a dog and a cat - who cares??! And if I really wanted to - I could drink the soy milk right out of the box!

You just don't do these things when you have kids in the house - these are the perks of the empty nest!

Let's see - what else... hmmmm. Ok, it's always my turn to decide what movie to watch, it's always my turn to use the computer!

And money - I swear someone is putting money in my wallet while I sleep... Life is so inexpensive all of a sudden with no one asking for ten bucks for this, twenty bucks for that, three hundred dollars for a ski trip, eighty bucks for runners... I could buy a new pair of shoes every week if I wanted to (omg - come to mama... you are so so cute! Do you have this in red too? And wrap up that little black patten number with the cute little kitten heel to keep them company...)

Ok, the adjustment is quite weird, and though I can't say I'm sad, exactly, at times I am a little lost.

But it's not a bad thing, this adjustment, it's just a little confusing at times. It's like losing your place in War and Peace, and trying to find it again 20 years later.

Life's a funny thing. It's a full thing, and nothing is left out. It's never boring, and you never really get used to it - but a journey well worth taking.

Ok - well, I'm off to day dream about what life will be like when I am a grandmother ;o)

And Suddenly, the House Was Empty...

My daughter, now almost 20, moved out of the house last year. This, of course, is natural, and to be expected, but if you are a single parent with only one child, the change in your life is so abrupt and immediate, and bizarre.

There is nothing you can do to prepare for it - even though you know it's coming. You think you're prepared, but you aren't.

The worst part for me was waiting for the door to open at night. I could never really fall asleep until I heard the door open and my daughter come in. Once I heard the lock turn, the door squeak open, then close, and the lock turn again, my world was right and I would drop off to sleep effortlessly.

Then suddenly, that would never happen again. Within a week of her departure from the nest, I knew that or the rest of my life, I would go to bed - and just go to bed. I became aware that there would be no waiting for the lock to turn, announcing the safe arrival of my daughter back home for the night.

There will also be no more meal planning, no stray laundry and other junk to collect from all corners of the house. No food stuck to the counter, no wet towels all over the bathroom floor...

Until it all comes to an abrupt stop, you have no idea that you will miss these things that once drove you batty.

And now, almost a year later, I find that I eat far too much toast, and if you were to inspect the contents of my compost bucket, you would think I survived solely on coffee and bananas (you'd never know about the toast, because I eat the crusts, leaving no evidence).

Life has changed so drastically. Where I used to buy all kinds of wonderful groceries and cook yummy creative meals and was fastidious about nutrition, baked cookies and banana bread... I now just make toast. If I do buy vegetables from time to time, they seem to rot in the fridge, as I forget about them completely. Besides, they are no good on toast.

And at this point, I find myself talking to the dog, and worse, expecting that he understands what I am saying. He's very understanding and supportive.

It's an adjustment, this empty nest. It's as strange as when I first had my daughter - when I suddenly became "Fraea's Mom". I was rarely called Morgana in almost 20 years - I was Fraea's Mom.

And though I am still Fraea's Mom - now I am Morgana again.

Morgana... It sounds odd when I say it and when I hear it. I wonder - who is this Morgana?

I know, of course, it's me... but who am I now? Who have I become now that the label in which I found the depth of my identity for 20 years, has shifted?

Hmmmm. I need to go make some toast and think about that.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Ok, Fraea hung a brass bell over the kitchen sink. I think it's for when the dog doesn't do the dishes - if I ring the bell, the dish fairy will come.

I'll give it a try.